A Dog's Take on Minimum Wage

I knew something was up. She sat down right in front of me and just stared at me, not blinking, not wavering, just staring. I knew she was there, but I refused to look up and acknowledge her presence. Finally, with haughty disdain dripping from her voice, she said “Why on earth are you against raising the minimum wage to $15?”

Still not looking up, I said “I am opposed to raising the minimum wage because I don't want to order my McDonald's hamburger from a kiosk or terminal. I want to order it from a person.”

“What, prey tell, does that have to do with paying a living wage?” Dixie said cocking her head to the side as if that would help her understand.

“Raising the minimum wage will force employers to either raise prices or to hire few workers, and invest in automation. There is a limit to what the market is willing to pay for a hamburger, so in the end, a few people will make a little more money, but there will be fewer jobs available, and service will go down. You will wait longer for your burger..” I patiently explained.

“Bullcrap! McDonald's makes a gazillion dollars a year, and they can afford to pay their workers a living wage.!”

“Dixie,” I began, “McDonald's has a business model that allows for a certain percent of their sales dollar to go for labor costs and a certain percentage goes to profit. This business model is why the entire chain has been so incredibly successful and has created so many jobs. Changing the minimum wage isn't going to change that business model. It simply means that McDonald's will find ways to increase sales with the same head count or maintain sales with a reduced head count so they can stay within their business model and remain profitable.”

“That profit is obscene! They make a gazillion dollars! They should take that profit and distribute it to the workers.”, Dixie growled. “Shame on McDonald's!

“Dixie, McDonald's is in business to make a profit. That's why we start businesses...to make a profit.”

“That's the problem!”, she exclaimed,” If it weren't for the blind pursuit of profit, the workers could enjoy a much high wage!! Don't you understand? Profit is the problem!”

“Without profit, a business must inevitably fail, and when it fails everyone loses their job.”, I said trying to contain my growing irritation.

“Not true! Not true at all”, Dixie smugly said as she sat scratching behind her ear.

“Name one business that exists without turning a profit.”, I challenged her.

“General Motors”

I hate my dog.