That's Politics

The expressive eyes of a dog reveal little about their thoughts. You can tell about their state of mind, but not about their thoughts. I watched closely. She licked her nose, and approached me.

“So....what do you think?” she querried.

I didn't know where to go with this. It could be she wanted to talks about the debate, or about Hillary's testimony. I didn't know. She simply had not spoken for a while, so I had no clue. Intrigued, I ventured a comment designed to elicit more information.

“A disgraceful display of partisanship with a shameless disregard for the truth, don't you think?” I parried.

“Yes!”, she screamed! “And the panel was asking such asinine questions! Can you imagine anyone else being disrespected to that degree?”

Now that I knew that conversation was about the Hillary's testimony, I ventured in. I knew I needed to be cautious because Dixie...excuse me Svatchime, has a pretty impressive set of incisors, but still the rogue in me spurred me on. I took some bacon from the fridge and started heating a cast iron skillet.

“So help me understand something. Hillary told her daughter the night of the attack that the Benghazi attack was an attack by terrorists, and she told the Egyptian president that it was an attack by terrorists and that it was not about a movie, so why did she tell you and me it was a demonstration about a movie gone bad?”, I said as I put bacon in the skillet. It sizzled.

“You really are a simple creature, aren't you?”, Svatchime said smiling as only a chocolate lab can. Adopting that all too familiar condescending tone, “To say otherwise would contradict the president's election mantra that 'Ben Laden is dead, AlQueda is on the run'. Clearly it could not be a terrorist attack. By definition, it had to be something else, and the movie was what was decided upon.”, she said sniffing the air.

“What?”, I said, not even bothering to mention that the man's name was 'Bin Laden' while turning the bacon. “You take an event you know is a terrorist attack, and characterize it as a demonstration gone awry because it contradicts the president's re-election campaign message? What the hell is wrong with you? You can't mislead people like that! She stood beside the coffins of the dead diplomats and operators and lied to their parents. She lied to the American people, and now you think she needs to be president of the United States?”

Svatchime sniffed the air as I removed the first slice of bacon from the pan.

“What difference does it make? Do you think it would bring them back if she said 'Yep..it's those pesky terrorists again!'? The diplomats are dead! Get over it. The only thing it would have done is to embarrass the president. It would not have mattered because everyone who cared about that voted against him any way”, she said as I held a piece of perfectly cooked bacon in my hand.

I maneuvered the bacon to the left, and then to the right. Svatchime's eyes followed as if controlled by a string.

“So, a lie is ok with you?”, I asked.

“An innocuous white lie isn't a problem.”, Svatchime assured me.

“And you are ok with giving up bacon?”, I asked as I ate the piece of bacon.

“What?”

“Are you ok with giving up bacon? Hillary accepted a lot of money from the Saudis and they hate bacon. The Saudi's gave her far more money than the Anti-gun folks , so she'll outlaw bacon before she outlaws guns.” I said reaching for my second piece of bacon.

“REALLY?” Svatchime screamed, eyes wide and drooling. “Do you think she'd actually outlaw bacon?”

“Yep”, I said tossing her a piece of bacon. “You know it's all about the money, and there ain't no such thing as Halal bacon.”

I could see the wheels turning in Svatchime's mind as she savored the bacon. She knew I was right. Even a dog can figure out that with Hillary, it is all about the money. I was still reasoning with a dog which means anything could happen. I had to kick it up a notch.

I tossed Svatchime another piece of bacon. She caught it mid-air. As she devoured it, I looked at her and said “You know, she say's it's OK to kill puppies almost up until they leave the Vet's office, and she want's to give 1/3 of your food to another dog.”

She was clearly shocked. Svatchime licked her nose and gave her ears a good shake. She looked at me with those innocent Lab eyes, and I saw raw anger in them, real anger. For a minute, I feared she was about to attack me, but I tossed her another piece of bacon. “Outlaw bacon? That's just crazy talk. She'll never get away with it.”, she growled.

I tossed her another. She savored each morsel with a love that only a dog can have for bacon. An innocent soul immersed in a simple joy. A peace came over me, and I had to repent. I just couldn't lie to her. “She's not going to outlaw bacon, she doesn't kill puppies, and she doesn't care about how much you eat”, I said. “I was trying to make a point with you about lying to manipulate people.”

“You evil lying bastard!”,she snarled with the hair standing up on her neck! “How could you lie to me about killing puppies, stealing my lunch and outlawing bacon!!! You were saying that so I wouldn't like Hillary! There, sir, is a special place in hell for you! I will never trust you again”, she said as I gave her another piece of bacon.

“But Svatchime,” I said, “You know that Hillary has lied to you about everything from cattle futures to the Rose Law Firm's billing records to Bill's girlfriends, to voting for the Iraqi War, to voting against the troop surge, to the Benghazi massacre , to the illegal email server! What about that?”

“That's different. That's politics.”